A pencil and a Lunch Box.

August 30th 2023.

Leaving Cert results,points,offers…no offers, first day in playschool,big school, secondary school. A little piece I wrote a few years ago not having a clue what the next few years would bring…well Josh started two courses, left two courses and now happy as Larry in UL. Sarah started one course,left one course and now getting ready to start her road to her dream. Ups ,downs and roundabouts but ye know what, my two are both happy and content…which is all I ever wished for.

2019

Yesterday I dropped my son to school assembly. I sat in the car and watched him walk through the doors of his school, hands in his pockets, my georgous boy, hair styled to within an inch of perfection. My boy, my baby.

This year is different. This year is his final year, this year he will try to decide what next, and this year I will try to guide him as best I can to make those decisions, decisions that will influence the years ahead to a point, and decisions he may look back on and be happy, or maybe regret.

Which will it be? I don’t know.

But whatever decision my son makes, if he is happy well then I will be Happy.

Because happiness and contentment is all that I wish for my children.

Of course I want them to do their best. If they don’t do their best it is themselves they are disappointing, not me. Of course I want them to achieve their goals and dreams, but those dreams don’t have to include points, college, high flying jobs, money or fame.

Yes I hear people gasp maybe even faint. “My god how can these thing’s not be important”.

Of course it is important to a point but it certainly should not hold the status that it holds now with our 16 and 17 year olds preparing to leave school, to move on, to try and figure out a path and to just move to the next step.

Am I wrong? Should I put pressure on my children to achieve certain goals, some decided by me, should I put pressure on my son to make a career decision that he might not be ready for. Should I put pressure on him to get so many points that I can tell everyone how well he did.?

I think the answer is ” No”. Well in my world it is so. You see in 2001 I sadly lost twin babies, Thomas and Ellen. Unfortunately they entered the world too soon and we had to say goodbye. They had short life’s, they moved, cried and were loved and still are loved as our babies. I of course had dreams and hopes for the Twins, we were so happy thinking of the future with them and the excitement of them arriving into our lives. But it was not too be. Our dreams died, our hopes obliterated, our happiness put on hold, but only for a while.

And then one year later three months spent in hospital, a tricky pregnancy, well not just tricky but risky. How could this be happening again. I just wanted to have my baby safe and sound.

And on Nov 13th 2002 my boy arrived safe and sound, after putting his mammy through the wars but all was well and our future lay ahead.

Pre school, junior infants, senior infants, Holy Communion, School concerts, Confirmation, Secondary School. And now here.

I am proud of my son, going through teenage years, dealing with the ups and downs of life. Watching his best friend – his grandad, succumb to the bastard disease “Cancer”, watching his mam bald and sick again with the bastard “Cancer”. Being an awkward teenager, quite as he is but honest and true. A rugby player, speed of sound, no one safe from his tackles but lacking the belief in himself. Maybe that just comes from his mam.

And last week I watched him and his friends. These are a special group of lads. All pals since play school, best buddies all through primary school, and though they went to different schools all still best buds -loyal to each other, looking out for each other and caring for each other.

That is what makes me happy, makes me smile, makes me proud, looking at friendship, loyalty, honesty and my boy finding his way but with the help and, I am sure advice of his pals who I Have to say I am kind of proud of aswell. 😊

One day many years ago I packed a lunch bag, put a pencil in a case and that is how it started. This week all over the world children will draw a line or a kind of circle or even a dot. And parents will be proud of that line or that dot. And well they should be, this is their children starting on that long road, I hope those parents will just wish their children happiness, if our children are happy and content then success will come, in whatever guise it brings.. success is simply a word with many definitions, just tell your children you are proud, you believe in them, you want them to be happy and success will come whatever that means, whatever form it brings, but once it brings happiness and contentment then that’s okay. 😊